Sexual exploitation or abuse can happen to anyone.
What is sexual exploitation?
Some people form relationships with young people to use them for sex.
People who do this want young people to think they are a friend, or a boyfriend or girlfriend. They want to gain their trust to get power over them.
They might seem kind to start with and give them gifts or treats. They might also use bribes, threats, humiliation and even violence to get power over them.
They use that power to force them to have sex or do sexual things with them and sometimes with other people.
This is sexual exploitation and it’s a crime.
Who does this happen to?
Sexual exploitation or abuse in a relationship can happen to boys and girls.
It can be hard to spot abusive behaviour and sexual exploitation. People often think that they’re in a good relationship, even after things have turned bad.
If you are a victim of abuse in a relationship or sexual exploitation it is never your fault.
What are the signs of exploitation?
It can be hard to spot when someone is abusing or exploiting a relationship. Here are some possible signs:
They give you lots of attention to get to know you
We all like attention and it’s nice to feel wanted. But if someone tries to get to know you by giving you lots of attention, ask yourself – what do they really want?
They give you gifts, like phone credit, alcohol or jewellery
This can be exciting and make you feel good about someone but, if they want sex in return, they are trying to exploit you.
They try to isolate you from your friends or family
They will say that they are the only person you need. They may tell you that your friends or family won’t understand or that you’ll be in trouble. Remember, the people who care about you will want to protect you.
They have mood swings
If someone flips between being ‘very nice’ and ‘very nasty’, you can feel like you need to do things to keep them happy. This can be a sign they are trying to control you.
They make promises or threats
Abusers and exploiters use many tricks to control young people. They may make promises they don’t always keep.
How can I stay safe?
If someone makes you feel unsafe, pressured, or frightened, follow your instincts. Trust yourself to know when something is wrong and get help.
Consider whether you can trust people you don’t know, even if they seem friendly, exciting or offer you gifts. Ask yourself – why are they being nice and doing me favours? What do they want in return?
You don’t have to do things that you think are unsafe. If you feel nervous about doing something, seek help from someone you trust.
You should never feel you have to have sex.
Know where to get help. Keep contact details of an adult you trust with you, written down and on your phone. Keep your phone topped up with credit.
Remember, if you are in immediate danger phone 999. You do not need credit on your phone to do this.
What can I do?
If you think someone is trying to exploit you, the good news is that you can get help. You can speak to a trusted adult – a parent, teacher or carer and tell them what’s happening to you.
But if you don't know who to talk to, try Childline. You can phone them for free on 0800 1111 and ask for help or advice.